Gun For Hire

I would say I was more of a hunter for hire rather than a gun for hire simply because I don’t always use a gun. Why? Sometimes a gun doesn’t kill whatever it is I was hired to get rid of. I’m a glorified exterminator of sorts, only I’m hired to get rid of a special type of vermin, that of the paranormal and supernatural. I used to be employed by religious types: priests (of all denominations), rabbis, shamans, and even the occasional voodoo practitioners.

Business has been bad lately, what with the world religions trying to downplay their roles in mysticism. I feel compelled to remind you that I am only the first line of defense in cases like these. Thankfully, I am good at what I do and no one, so far, has been given the need to call in a second line of defense. However, if a hunter is killed in the line of duty you should call in a religious leader of some sort, preferably of the Roman Catholic Church. There’s no particular reason other than the fact that they have a systematic way of dealing with these situations, particularly exorcisms.

When it comes to my line of business, it would be a foolish thing to label a single type of ghouls as the most formidable. Each monster has their own attribute, or in some cases attributes, that make them deadly. Let’s take the armies of the undead as an example. However, whenever an outbreak occurs, they are more akin to hordes. They are unorganized and not particularly intelligent, strong, or fast. It’s their numbers that make them dangerous. Since, it has been discovered that a virus is the cause for zombies, hunters such as myself have developed vaccines that pacify the living dead before things get out of control.

That plan is simple to implement as long as the outbreak is found early and as long as we’re dealing with a simple viral infection. But zombies are not the only class of living dead to hunt. Let’s take the rare but dangerous Egyptian mummy. I have only encountered of one such case. They are undead and therefore impervious to pain as one might guess, but what makes them difficult to put away is their intelligence and knowledge of magic. Fortunately, their magic also makes them gullible. Just a little research, and their magic is easily undone. Of course, the research itself is a deadly mission all on it’s own but that’s another story entirely.

Of course, there is another monster out there that is yet more dangerous than zombies or mummies. Imagine an undead being with the knowledge of centuries, wisdom of generations, the magic of the devil himself, and is the most charming, seductive personality you’ll ever meet. I speak, of course, of the infamous vampire. I had to receive special training from several different holy men to learn how to deal with such creatures. Special weapons had to be used: a bottle of holy water, jewelry of dried garlic blossoms, a crucifix, and of course the wooden stake. It would be impossible to successfully hunt vampires if it wasn’t for their one physical weakness, daylight. Contrary to popular belief, sunlight does not kill the creatures, it just significantly weakens them, and THAT’S the time to strike.

Every hunter you meet is going to have his or her own variations of the weapons that I described. Take my stakes, for example. It’s made primarily of wood, pine. I reserve the oak stakes for leaders of vampire coven. Sure it’s sturdier, but it’s also expensive and very rare to find. I can make my own out of pinewood; there’s no need to have someone make them for you especially since that’s a red flag to any nearby vampires. These glyphs on the side are of an ancient Egyptian chant in case I run into any mummies. And see how it’s heavier on the pointed end? The point is coated with silver in case I run into any werewolves.

Werewolves are easily underestimated. In fact, of all the monsters that I’ve faced, werewolves are the ones that I avoid fighting in close quarters at all costs. They’re not undead and they don’t have magic that they control. In all honesty, hunting werewolves are a lot like hunting actual animals. The big difference is that they are great hunters as well, and more often than not, the werewolf is hunting me as well.

They are agile and strong. Fortunately they’re only at their strongest when the moon is full. Also, since they see their ability as a curse, they tend to make loners of themselves. I’ve hunted multiple wolves at one time and had to employ the help of some of my competition. Similar to their wildlife counterpart, they hunt in packs. Unlike the previous monsters I’ve mentioned, a single scratch from a wolf and you might as well have been killed. That is one life I do not envy.

Ghosts are not exactly a hunter’s specialty and are probably more in the realm of your local holy person. Typically, they do not cause any harm and are simply here on some unfinished business. When they do actually cause harm or, in some rare cases, inhabit someone’s body, you can give me a call to make sure said person is restrained properly. We want to rid you of the ghoul and not of a loved one. After that, I suggest you call the priest of whatever denomination you feel comfortable with.

I should also add that I work alone. I took on an apprentice once and he was immediately killed by a vampire who wanted to teach me a lesson. I took on a partner after my run in with the pack of werewolves and made the mistake of falling in love with her. Let’s just say I’m not looking forward to any reunions with her… especially on a full moon. There are lots of different reasons that my kind is dying off.

One theory is that we’ve simply killed off all the demons and monsters that were once rampant in the world. My own personal theory is a bit more cynical. I think we killed off all the easy ones… The only ones left are the wise ones, the smart ones; evolution at its best, or worst depending on how you look at it. There are monsters out there that survived. They’re keeping it quiet to ensure their future and who knows when they’ll strike? Rest assured, I’ll be there ready for them to ensure humanity’s future.