An Answer for Carol

“Why is the sky blue, mommy?” Carol asked.

“Do you remember the prism I gave you a while ago?” her mother replied.

“The rainbow glass?”

“That’s right, the glass that makes rainbows. Well with the light from the sun, the molecules in the air act like tiny prisms and we end up seeing only the blue.”

“Is that why the sky is red when the sun sets?”

“That’s exactly why. The sun is at a different position and so we can see some of that red.”

“So even if we don’t see it, the colors are all there?”

“That’s right, darling. And speaking of not being there, do you remember what we talked about?”

“Yes, mommy. I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too, baby. But I’ll only be in orbit for a week.”

“Is it scary?”

“Is space scary? Well, it was terrifying the first time around but like a lot of things practice makes perfect. I’ve gotten used to it so I’m not as scared anymore.”

“Why do you have to go?”

“It is my job after all, darling. Also, if everything goes well for this week’s orbit then it won’t be soon until everyone can go up in space just like that!”

“Everyone?”

“Everyone!”

“Will we be able to see grandpa?”

“Sweetie, you know that grandpa--”

“I know but I asked Dad where heaven was and he said it was up in the sky and that’s where you go, right? That’s where space is? Up in the sky?”

“It is.”

“So we might be able to see grandpa? You might see him when you go there this time!”

“Darling, space is awfully big. We’re not sure where heaven is.”

“Dad said it was in the sky.”

“Well I can’t guarantee that I’ll run into grandpa. But I’ll keep an eye out for heaven while up there.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Now it’s time to go to sleep, darling.”

“Mommy?”

“I said it’s time for you to sleep.”

“I know, but--,” Carol tapped her chin forgetting momentarily what she was going to ask. But she stuck her finger in the air when she remembered, “Can I talk to you even when you’re in space?”

“I’ll let daddy know. But I’m not making any guarantees.”

“Okay. Good night, mommy.”

“Good night, sweet heart.”

As Major Sally Brooke tucked in her daughter for the night she went over every detail of the morning’s launch in her head. It was certainly not her first time in space and most definitely not the last. What made this trip different was that it would be the farthest in space that she personally had been launched in her entire career as an astronaut. Perhaps, she thought, one day she would walk on the moon. But seeing as how the moon has little to do with her research, her first moonwalk would have to wait. She stepped into bed and waited for her husband, Arthur, before switching off the lamp on her nightstand.

“Are you ready?” Arthur asked as he climbed underneath the covers.

“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“You know I’m going to be waking up Carol to bring her up on the roof so we can see your launch, right?” Arthur asked reaching to turn off the lamp by his nightstand.

“Even though I explicitly told you not to so she won’t be sleepy for school?”

“Of course,” he answered.

“Of course,” she retorted.

“Is this the solar project?”

“Something like that.”

“You take the sunlight and convert it to usable power. That sounds like research for a solar project to me.”

“Technically I’m hoping to find a better way to use the sun’s harmful rays and use that energy against itself. Essentially we’d be making a protective shell out of the very stuff that would kill any would-be space colonies in the future.”

Arthur feigned and exaggerated snore. Sally took the pillow she was lying down on and hit her husband with it as the playfully wrestled each other. They laughed as Arthur kissed his wife’s lips

“I’m only kidding, honey,” Arthur finally said, “I’m actually jealous that your brain can think up stuff like that. I hope Carol gets that from you.”

“Speaking of Carol--” Sally said.

“I overheard. I’ll see what I can do to get her in contact with you once you’re in orbit. It’s a good thing she’s out of school and I’m on duty by the time that happens. So are you nervous?”

“It’s not my first rodeo. But yeah, I’m always nervous before a launch. I sit on tons of explosive fuel as someone counts down until they light it.”

“It’s going to be all right. Besides, Tom is a great pilot. He’ll get you in orbit safely.”

“He is a great pilot, but that’s still not entirely reassuring.”

“Could be worse. I could be the pilot. I could be lighting the fuse.”

“Slightly more assuring,” Sally said as she smiled. The couple wished each other sweet dreams and kissed each other good night before finally surrendering to sleep.

The next morning, Sally sat in the cockpit of the shuttle as crew members strapped her in. She felt her chest rise and fall slowly as she closed her eyes. She hated it when people worried for her and would never admit to Arthur how nervous she really was before each launch. Her eyelids closed and she pictured her husband holding their daughter’s hand as he set the ladder against the side of the house.

“That’s so dangerous,” Sally would say to herself hoping Arthur would hear her. “At least wrap her in layers before climbing up on to the roof.” They lived on the military base not far from the launching site so it was not unusual to see families gather on rooftops to watch a launch, especially when a loved one was on board. Perhaps Carol was wrapped in layers and layers of blankets, and perfectly safe but the worrisome mother in Major Brooke refused to believe that there was such a thing as too cautious.

“T-minus-ten minutes until launch,” mission control announced over the PA system.

“Almost show time,” Tom the pilot said as he turned to Sally. Both of them were pretty tightly strapped into their seats so they could barely turn but they saw each other in the corner of their eyes and bumped fists as they had in previous launches.

“I hate the waiting,” Sally finally responded. She felt a single streak trailing from each eye. She wiped the tears away and though she was used to the pre-launch tears it still made her feel uncomfortable.

“I can understand that,” Tom responded. “How’s Arthur and Carol doing?”

“They’re fine,” Sally answered. “Arthur’s waking Carol up to watch the launch.”

“From the roof?” Tom asked. Sally just nodded. “Crazy Arthur, it’s a school night for Pete’s sake!”

“He was always the one with a flair for adventure. That’s one of the things I love about him,” Sally mentioned. “I was always the careful one.”

“T-minus-two minutes until launch,” mission control interrupted.

“I’d hate to see how adventurous Arthur can get if you’re the careful one,” Tom commented, “After all, you’re the one strapped to a rocket aimed miles above this screwy planet.”

“That’s true,” Sally said, laughing quietly to herself. “How’s Liz?”

“She’s great! We’re expecting!” Tom exclaimed.

“Congratulations!”

“Thanks! We just found out yesterday morning.”

“Wow! That’s a heck of a time to find out!”

“No kidding!” Tom said, smiling a bit nervously. Sally couldn’t tell if it was the launch or the baby her pilot was more nervous for. Having experienced both pregnancy and numerous launches, she knew that either would be reasonably and equally nerve-wracking.

“Launch commencing in T-minus 10… 9… 8…” mission control counted down.

“When we’re in orbit, I want to show you something,” Tom said.

“7… 6… 5…”

“Sure,” her response was quiet and automatic. Sally closed her eyes and attempted to control her breathing. Her mind wandered to the image of Arthur and Carol on the rooftop. Carol’s sleepy head leaning on her father who pointed to the sky.

“4… 3… 2… 1… Ignition successful,” the entire shuttle began to shake violently. Mission control over the PA could not compete with the monstrous roar of the engine but Sally and Tom can feel the shuttle being lifted. The pressure of several times earth’s gravity was pushing down on Sally and Tom’s body. The warmth of the sun was soon replaced by the heat from the friction against the earth’s atmosphere as they left it. Both astronauts concentrated on their breathing exercises to keep their blood from pumping away from their extremities which is where the increased gravity intended to put it.

While Sally had her eyes shut (she was almost certain Tom did as well) she always knew exactly when they had left the earth’s atmosphere. There was a loud click for each stage of the fuel tank that disengaged after launch. And as each stage fell away, the shuttle felt and was tons lighter. But it wasn’t until the rumbling had stopped and it felt as if they were in a state of perpetual free-fall that Sally knew it was time to open her eyes. The white-blue sky had transformed into a dark velvet one speckled with flecks of light. The earth below was gigantic and dwarfed the distant moon in a sight that would humble anyone blessed enough to have a chance to witness it.

“We’ll be entering the targeted orbit in twenty minutes, mission control,” Tom said into the PA system, “Everything looks like it’s in order. I’ll keep you posted.”

“Roger that,” mission control responded.

“Mission control? This is Major Brooke. I’m expecting a call later from my husband.”

“I’ll make sure not to call when you’re in the shower, then.”

“Thanks, mission control,” Sally clicked the communicator off and turned to Tom, “So what did you want to show me?”

“I wanted to show it to you before the light show could outshine me,” Tom said as he gestured to the shuttle windows. He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out a golden ring. In zero gravity, he let it float gently towards Sally who reached out and took it. The diamond was modest but a beautiful cut and the ring as a whole was of a simple design, a bit old fashioned.

“It’s beautiful,” Sally remarked.

“It was my grandmother’s. I decided to do this as soon as Liz told me she was pregnant. I’m going to ask her as soon as we get back home.”

“Congratulations! My, this makes it a special orbit for you, doesn’t it, Tom?” Sally smiled and handed him back the ring.

“Most definitely,” Tom responded as he put it back in his pocket.

“We should get to work,” Sally said. Tom agreed and they prepared the instruments. As soon as they got into orbit, Sally began taking copious notes from all the sensors that had been attached to the side of the shuttle. Tom made sure they stayed in orbit and kept an eye out for any possible debris that could cause any problems. After a few hours, Sally decided to take a quick break as Tom ate a freeze-dried snack.

“I totally forgot about the stars,” Sally said. “It’s always a surprise when I’m up here.” Tom agreed. Because they launched in the morning, their eyes had to adjust to the darkness of space before they could pick up every single shining astral body that can be seen from their unique vantage point.

“Major Brooke, this is mission control,” the PA system announced. Sally clicked the communicator back on and took a deep breath, enjoying the view.

“This is Major Brooke. Go ahead.”

“It seems you have an important call from the highest of authorities.”

“Put me through,” Sally responded, smiling.

“Hi, mommy!” Carol shouted into the PA system.

“Hi there, darling. How was school?” Sally asked. Tom smiled at the sound of the little girl’s voice. He flicked a few switches and turned the small dial on the console to turn on the screen. Through the blue static, young Carol can be seen smiling.

“School was good,” the little girl answered. Tom waved at her through the screen and she waved back a few seconds later.

“Did you see my launch this morning, sweetheart?”

“Yeah. It was cold and I was really sleepy but I saw it.”

“It was cold? Did you not bring a blanket and a jacket with you?”

“Yes. Daddy brought the blanket but forgot the jacket but it’s okay because I remembered.” Arthur wheeled in quickly and put a finger to his lips to shush Carol about forgetting her jacket that morning. “Oops! I meant that Daddy remembered the jacket too but I also remembered.”

“That’s very good that you remembered, sweetie,” Sally answered shaking her head at her husband who still didn’t know he could be seen on screen. Tom chuckled as he finished his meal. “Tell daddy I’ll talk to him about that later.”

“Mommy says she’ll talk to you about remembering my jacket later,” Carol said.

“Thanks, baby,” Arthur said to his daughter sardonically.

“Oh, mommy!” Carol screamed into the PA system again. “What about you? Did you see grandpa yet?”

“I have not, darling.”

“Oh, you said space is big so maybe you’ll just see grandpa next time. But is heaven up there? Can you see it?” Carol asked, smiling right into the screen.

Sally looked out the sky, at first to sate her daughter’s adorable pleas, but soon found herself hypnotized at the sight just outside the window. Her eyes had fully adjusted to the darkness so there were more stars scattered across the velvet black sky than she could possibly dare to imagine counting. Just behind earth was the moon whose surface seemed whiter than it had ever seemed from the surface of earth. The sun was at just the right angle so that Sally could see the intricate white swirls of the clouds that hovered over the brown and green patches of land floating on a sphere of water that sparkled a shade of blue that could only exist for the sole purpose of seeing it from that high above the planet. Major Sally Blake looked at the screen with her precocious daughter and gave her the only reasonable answer she could give.

“Daddy was right, darling,” Sally responded. “I am definitely looking at heaven right now. And it is beautiful.”